There is still stigma attached to living with HIV or is there?
Is the stigma personalised or is it a fact. Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if your friends new you were HIV positive. The fear of someone accidentally coming across this revelation. What would you do? Is it that bad if they knew? Is there really a stigma still attached to this or is it in your head? I have always wondered if there is such a thing as stigmatising oneself, always thinking other people are shunning you when in fact it is all in your head. What if you realise someone you have known for years is HIV positive? How would your relationship with them change or not?
If you have HIV and worried about how others around you view you and are getting anxious about this, talking about this could be helpful. Where would you go to talk about your unique worries and fears especially if these feel irrational even to you? You feel fine and still have to take tablets, all the test results seem to show a healthy picture; CD4 count – within normal range, viral load – undetectable and all other markers – normal, could you have been cured? What would happen if you stopped taking the tablets? Fear of the unknown but the itch to want to know what would happen battling within you. What would you do if it were up to you? Your significant others already know about your status and have continued to relate with you without a change, but you still feel stigmatised!! What do you think that is all about? Back to my question again, is HIV stigma a fact or a fiction of your imagination? Think about it, really think about it.
Coming out
- Should I share my status or should I not?
- Who would I share it with?
- Why should I share it?
Knowing you have HIV can sometimes feel like a death sentence. The shame that comes with being told you are HIV positive can lead to self-isolation. This shame can lead to not taking treatment ‘in case somebody finds out’. This can lead to a steady decrease of your CD4 count and a steady increase of viral load. If left unchecked, you start to be ill and eventually develop AIDS. Then it is out, and you cannot hide anymore.
Before sharing, I suggest asking yourself and answering the above questions.
Already the medical staff will know – they gave you the results. Discussing your concerns with them will help you plan your treatment. The need to be discrete can be discussed and your medication delivered to you discretely. This will keep you healthy as you decide the next steps.
It may be a good idea to share with your next of kin. If anything goes wrong, the decision they make may be influenced by knowing this. They will also be able to support you. As the saying goes ‘a problem shared is a problem half solved’
These are good reasons to share your status.
Other reasons why you may want to share could be to help others newly diagnosed to know they are not alone, or other humanitarian reasons that you may think of.
Ultimately the decision is yours but you have to be ready to deal with the consequences of your decision.